Pancakes

I had pancakes for breakfast this morning. They were delicious.

To most people, this ordinary act wouldn't seem like much to write about, but it was important to me. Symbolic. It was the lifting of a curse.

See, last year when I invited a good friend to be my roommate, I started making pancakes for breakfast on weekends. I tried doing this a few times, and she seemed grateful but never ate much. Later, she admitted that she didn't really like pancakes.

The weird (and ironic) part is that since we got into a fight in November, and she moved out, I have been unable to make pancakes.

Let me clarify that, my attempts at making pancakes for myself have failed in dramatic fashion. We're talking things that are wholly inedible and don't even really resemble food. Incidents that defy the laws of physics and cookery have prevented me from delicious, fluffy breakfast delights and driven me nearly mad. Failing doesn't generally frustrate me too much, but repeated failure at something as simple as making pancakes is maddening.

This morning, I bought a new skillet and tried once again ... and finally succeeded.

Perhaps I'm putting too much significance on this success. It's probably just an old skillet that has been worn out in such a way that food now sticks to it, but I can't help but try to pivot my life around this achievement. I feel not only that I'm finally moving past the loss of my roommate and good friend, but that I'm moving past all the past regrets of many years, and regaining control over bits of my life that had been out of my control for too long.

The symbolism is likely all in my head, but isn't that what symbolism is all about. Most things in life have the value that we attribute to them.

I mean, how does an antique dealer get thousands for a lamp that is (from a practical viewpoint) worth less than $100. Who in their right mind pays more than $100 for a lamp? But the importance that's placed on that lamp by the community makes its worth much more.

Like these little green rectangles of paper that everyone's been clinging to lately. They're so valuable right now, because everyone's convinced that there's an "economic downturn". It wasn't that many years ago that people were throwing these "dollars" around like crazy, because they were always sure that they could get more.

Of course, the reason that they can't get more is because everyone else is clinging to them as well.

Everyone seems to be pinning the blame on the government. Apparently it's Mr. Obama's job to fix all this green paper clinging. But Mr. Obama didn't cause it. Nor did the government. We caused it by refusing to spend, and then refusing to spend more when companies started cutting back on their workforce because nobody was buying.

The solution, of course, is for everyone to quit being sissies and spend money. Have some faith and trust that you can go out there and get more green rectangles. Or, maybe stop considering them so important.

Honestly, economic downturn my arse. When I see people canceling their cable TV subscription because they can't pay it and they're too busy doing odd jobs to pay for food, then I'll be worried about the economy. But as long as people are sitting in front of the latest episode of Heros complaining that money is tight, I'm just not buying it.

Or maybe I'm just putting too much significance on this whole thing.