Again with the taxes ...

I try desperately to put content on this site, and usually fail because I'm too busy with other things.

But there's one thing you can count on to rile me up enough to cause me to write, no matter how busy I am.

Yes, it's tax time again, and boy is my asshole sore.

Granted, I'm not getting raped nearly as bad as H&R Block raped my friends Paul and Jamie, but the IRS and their lackies are trying ... oh, they're trying.

First off, I tried again to use taxact online. This year they finally pissed me off beyond repair. When I tried to create an account for 2008, I used keepassx to generate a nice, secure password. The taxact software told me the password was invalid. No information on why it was invalid, or what I had to to do make it valid. Just a generic, useless message that it was invalid.

So I gave up. This year I'm using turbotax online. I'm about 50% done at this time, and it seems pretty decent. If they weren't using flash to drive the site, I might even be happy enough with the service to recommend them.

But the federal government is trying this year. Honestly, I can't believe that the IRS is into scamming the average citizen like this. You'd think a government wouldn't be this outright deceptive.

See, last year I bought a house. Everything I've been hearing from folks tells me how much tax money owning a house will save you. Let me give you the straight dope.

Owning a house saves you absolutely nothing on taxes.

That's the truth. Anyone who tells you otherwise is full of shit. After going through and entering all my house expenses for 2008, I'm still better off taking my "standard deduction", which means I'm paying the same amount of taxes as I would if I didn't own a house.

As a side note, everyone who has ever given me advice on how to save money on taxes has been lying. My whole adult life, people have been casually advising me on how to save on my taxes and nothing has ever worked. If you want to give me tax advice, I'll know right off the bat that you are a liar, and I might even punch you the face for talking about it.

But, what's even more disturbing and unexpected is how the US federal government is trying to fuck homeowners in the ass while pretending to help them out. Sure, we expect covert anal rape from companies like Kia and Verizon, but we expect the federal government to at least be up front with us while they're deflowering our sphincters.

It's not true. Let me be specific. All through 2008 I was hearing about the tax credit for new home buyers. While not the determining factor in my purchase of a home, it was something I was looking forward to getting back after all the headache, heartache, and wallet-ache that finally led to my home purchase. However, the tax credit is a lie. It's not a happy deduction to encourage people to trust in their government and its economy. It's a loan.

Big kudos to turbotax for pointing this out to me when it discovered that I was eligible for the loan. Negative points for making it difficult to go back opt not to take it.

See, the way it works is the Feds will give you $7500 if you bought a home in 2008. However, you have to give that money back before 2011. It means that your taxes in 2009 and 2010 will be $3750 higher than they were this year, even if you don't make any more money.

Now, certainly, there are some people who can uses this wisely to their advantage. I mean, if you can spend the $7500 now to improve your home in such a way that it will save or make you money over the next two years, then it's a good deal. It's basically an interest-free loan.

However, I'm wondering how many poor schmucks are taking that $7500, thinking it's found money, and will be royally fucked next year when they owe $3750 on their federal return.

Nobody's giving you nothing. Don't trust anything that seems too good to be true, because it is.