All your monies are belong to me.

They may have pushed me over the edge. They may have just made it so easy to steal that I can no longer resist.

I just heard an advertisement on the radio that some bank or another is offering "text message banking."

Thank you. I mean it. Thanks to everyone who tries to use this feature. I'm going to be taking your money now.

Really, when you leave it lying around on the ground in public, I'm not sure it's even theft any more.

I'm trying to imagine how text message banking could possibly be a good idea, and I'm drawing a blank. Good luck keeping your money, people.