It's April. What does that mean? It means it's time for me to bitch about taxes again.

It's amazing, that for twenty years now, I have made an effort every single year to make this as easy and painless on myself as possible.

I'm not talking about saving money, or getting the biggest deduction like most of the pathetic U.S. ... I'm just talking about making it easy to get the shit paid so I can get back to my life.

What's most amazing is that I have failed every single year for the past 20.

Well, we got another few inches of snow last night, but far less than the doomsayers were predicting. Anyone run out of toilet paper yet?

I came in to work early this morning. It was worth it. With the roads nearly empty, I was able to fly along in my Subaru ... skidding everywhere, snow flying ... with no worries that the other drivers would ruin my fun.

Got just a bit of snow over the weekend, and getting just a bit more now.

I'm sure lots of folks north of me are laughing at how inept Pittsburgh is in dealing with a paltry 20" of snow. But this is a 5 year storm (i.e. a storm that only happens, on average, every 5 years) and the city's infrastructure is really only designed for the average storm. Seems kind of stupid to me, but I only pay a small amount of taxes compared to everyone else, so nobody cares about my opinion.

Anyway, my house looks beautiful covered in snow. Looks like the cover of a christmas card:

I've been getting mystery calls on my cell phone for a few weeks now. I haven't answered them, assuming that if the call were important, the caller would leave a message. No messages were left.

Finally, today, I answered the call. Lucky for me, it was a criminal telemarketing scam. This gives me an opportunity to do my civic duty and warn everyone about this.

First off, the number the call came from was 612-808-5643. The company claims to be "Freedom Choice Financial".

Let's look at their crimes:

It's ironic that Penny Arcade should address this issue only a day before I should come face to face with it in noteworthy fashion. In reality, I run up against it on a daily basis, but read on.

On Tuesday, I went to my biweekly writer's meeting, which was held this time at a Panera bread restaurant. We had reserved the room in advance for 7:00.

Can you prove it?

Because, if you can't then you'll probably have to pay up.

Because I only lived in the city of Pittsburgh for half of the year in 2008, I owe them a full year's worth of taxes. It may sound illogical to us intellectual types, but you see, I'm a lying bastard, and the only way to get out of paying a full year's taxes to the city is to get a letter signed and sealed from the borough I lived in for the first half of the year attesting to the fact that I paid their taxes.

I had pancakes for breakfast this morning. They were delicious.

To most people, this ordinary act wouldn't seem like much to write about, but it was important to me. Symbolic. It was the lifting of a curse.

See, last year when I invited a good friend to be my roommate, I started making pancakes for breakfast on weekends. I tried doing this a few times, and she seemed grateful but never ate much. Later, she admitted that she didn't really like pancakes.

It's odd to remember my personal battles as I grew up as I watch others fight with those same battles. It's interesting that many people who've known me only a little while don't believe me when I try to tell them what kind of person I once was.

... to be fated, to telling only lies.

There are times when I think of myself as just another person in the world, and there are other times when I wonder if there's something about me that's
inherently different, or at least unusual.

As the holidays approach, it's a good time to write about scams.

Or maybe it isn't, but I'm going to do it anyway.

Saw an ad in a magazine lately for tree trimming/removal services, which interested me because I have some trees that I might need some professional work done on. Lo and behold, it includes a coupon: "$250 off any service of $600 or more."

Sounds like a good deal ... except ...

"Must present coupon prior to quote."

Perhaps I'm a bit paranoid, but if I were to whip out said coupon, wouldn't the quoter:

Every day that I wake up and the world is still here is a joy to me, and a wonder.

I mean everything. With the poisons we dump into the environment, I'm shocked and overjoyed every time I see a wild animal. I'm amazed and delighted when the rain doesn't burn my skin because of the acidity. I'm filled with awe that I can see the stars through the light and air pollution.